Thursday, January 21, 2016
...learning to drive
This, my friends, is Daniel. 17 years old and a little late to be learning to drive, but learning to drive he is. Makes me a tad bit nervous to be the passenger, but I've done this before. Three times to be exact. He is improving which means I'm beginning to feel comfortable knitting a few stitches while he's at the wheel if there's no other traffic. A good sign. :)
The youngest of my three boys, this one graduates this year. C-R-A-Z-Y. Really, it is beyond my comprehension to understand where the years have gone.
We're talking, which is a good thing...college, work, interests. Thoughtful conversations about life and the future and how scary and exciting it is to be on the cusp of adulthood. I'm loving this phase.
But sometimes it's difficult.
AnnaLynn and I recently took the "Which Downton character are you?" online quiz where I learned that I'm Mr. Carson (she's Anna -- so funny!). If you watch Downton, you know who Mr. Carson is and that although he has a soft side, he likes to keep order and is therefore not too lenient in the running of the abbey. My kids think this is funny. In fact, if you asked my older kids to complete this saying: God is a god of order, not of _________. They would all answer, "Chaos." Because that's what they grew up hearing from me.
Truth, but expressed a little too Carsonesquely, I'm sure.
I think one of the hardest things about homeschooling boys is the fact that they grow to be young men who really don't want to spend all day at home with their mommas. The transition between being a boy and becoming a man seem to take forever, and then again, it happens in the blink of an eye.
This year I blinked. It's been a good year, but it's been a hard year, too. Hard for him. Hard for me. Sometimes. But mostly it's good, and for that I'm thankful.
I'd like to think I've grown up along with my kids and that I've learned to be a little more lenient, more patient, and more grace-extending than I used to be. Love before order, right? Better late than never.
Letting go of the wheel and trusting God to work His perfect will in my life and in the life of my kids has been a long road for an order-seeker/sinner like me. Sort of like letting my son take the wheel so he can learn to drive. It's all about trust. And love. :)
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